


Need some peace of mind

by BloodyBrokenAngel



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: BAMF Bilbo, Bilbo is done with Gandalfs shit, Bilbo needs a break, Bilbo needs a hug, Dragon Bilbo, Dragons, GASP, Gandalf is being disruptive again, Gandalf the Disturber of Peace, Gen, Implied Violence, Implied hurtful gossip by Lobelia, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mention of past relationships, Mentions of other dragons, Morgoth - Freeform, Morgoth is being awful like usual, Past Lives, The Valar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 22:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4762592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyBrokenAngel/pseuds/BloodyBrokenAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo Baggins was not a normal hobbit. He certainly looked the part, but his soul was so much older. His memories full of joy and pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Need some peace of mind

**Author's Note:**

> I know a lot of people are writing about Bilbo being a dragon at the moment but I wanted to join the party anyway. *cough* Totally not late *cough*  
> This is not looked over, so if there is a mistake feel free to point it out.  
> Enjoy xx

Bilbo Baggins was an enigma. Everyone in the Shire accepted him but there was always something not quite right with the hobbit of Bag End. Bilbo was the talk of the Shire on many occasions and on that fateful day that Lobelia Sackville-Baggins was starting a new piece of gossip of him, a certain wizard came knocking on his door.

This wizard was indeed the infamous Gandalf the Grey. This was to Bilbo’s utter delight but at the same time his utter annoyance. As whenever Gandalf came around, trouble came a-knocking. He should know. Bilbo had experience with this wizard.

It should be known that Bilbo wasn’t the true Hobbit that everyone thought he was. He acted like one, looked like one, smelt like one and certainly ate like one, but the real Bilbo though. Well, he was most certainly not a Hobbit.

He was a Dragon. Not an awful evil one of Morgoth, but a kind and gentle loving one; created by the Valar themselves for good deeds to be made to Middle Earth. He had roamed the skies for thousands of years with his family; they were a powerful, noble and respected race, but that all fell with the rise of Morgoth. Morgoth stole the members of his own family, twisted and tortured them into his own wants. He made them greedy and uncaring of all but themselves. Bilbo was ashamed to call them kin; they had fallen so easily to the darkness.

Bilbo feared them though. He feared Morgoth. All of his kind had been taken except him. Bilbo believed he was a coward. He hid instead of rebelling against what was happening. He knew he was not as strong as his mother, who died resisting Morgoth’s dark mind. He promised to himself that he would not fall into darkness like his brothers, sisters and… father. He didn’t know what had happened to them all. If they had been slain or survived. Bilbo did not think he wanted to know actually. It hurt too much when he found out what had happened to his father, _Glaurung_ , and to what he had become.

He hated them for turning to the easier side of evil, but he still missed them all dearly. He would never forget, but he had no choice but to leave. He would not fall to the darkness. He promised his mother that and he would live by it.

He had flown to the Valar, pleading for a deal that he thought he would never receive. He would hide in a mortal body, hidden from the eyes of evil and his once kin. The Valar had agreed on conditions. He must live until the end of Middle Earth, ready to be called to protect against evil whenever he was called upon. Thinking back, Bilbo thought he could have gotten a better deal but at the time it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. He would survive and fulfil his mother’s promise of working for the side of good.

And so, Bilbo lived on. He was stripped of his dragon form, stripped of his… _wings._  

Bilbo had lived and died and lived and died. He had been from a man of Gondor, to the housewife of a Rohirrim; from the life of a Dwarrow to the light elder of an _elleth._   Bilbo had lived his lives in full and died in the name of good and he was happy to do so, but he was tired. He missed his wings greatly. The feeling of being able to fly wherever he wanted. The freedom that only flight could give you but that was now gone forever. Bilbo guessed that was a good punishment. His wings for abandoning his family. He found he could not regret leaving to not fall into darkness though but… Oh, how he missed them and not only his kin but all of the families and friends he had made and lost while in each of his lives.

He remembers being a young _elleth_ running through the trees in Lorien with her best friend and the feeling of stone against his palms as he crafted with the skill of a dwarf. He could remember cooking waiting for her husband to return home, but he never did and he remembers leaving her home to search for the evil in the world that took her husband. He remembers all of his lovers, husbands and wives. He could still remember the feeling of a blade sinking into flesh, into his own body and others and he remembered the feeling of losing yourself in battle. Looking to find your friends but finding a broken body instead. The hopeless feeling as you face an enemy you know you cannot beat.

All Bilbo wanted was a break, so when he woke up to find himself as a Hobbit of the Shire. He thought that the Valar were giving him a lifetime to relax and it had been until his 50th year of being Bilbo Baggins of Bag End.

So when Gandalf came to visit that day, Bilbo knew exactly what the wizard wanted and quite frankly he did not want to save the world again.

Oh, he always would but he was just tired beyond belief.

So as Gandalf opened his mouth to speak (he would probably say some witty comment as always that made Bilbo want to punch the Istari right in the face. Why couldn’t he ever speak like a normal person?) Bilbo quickly cut him off with just one word.

“No”

Gandalf stared at him with confusion and was that a glint of amusement in his eyes? Bloody wizards!

“No? Bilbo, what do you mean by this?”

“You know very well what no means. So no, Gandalf you will not coax me away on another one of your so-called adventures. Not this time. I have had enough. Just let me live one lifetime in peace!”

Bilbo was fiercely annoyed. He did not want to live another life full of pain and as he stared up at Gandalf, his eyes shone with emotions that had never been shared with anyone besides the Valar themselves who Bilbo was sure were still judging him. All he wanted was one simple life.  

He had known Gandalf since the Istari had been sent into the world. Bilbo had told him secrets no other being had heard, but in that sunny day Bilbo just wanted him to get lost.

“Bilbo, please. I need your help” Gandalf’s eyes shone with pity.

Oh… how that hit Bilbo right where it was meant to… but he had made up his mind.

“Not this time Gandalf. Now good day to you!” With that, Bilbo hopped down from the bench he had been sitting on and strode confidently to the door of his smial. Just as Bilbo nearly closed the door, he heard the sound of Gandalf’s voice once more.

“Bilbo, I did not want to bear this news to you but you must come!” Gandalf’s voice grew softer. “It concerns your brother”

Bilbo froze, as he slowly turned back to the wizard. He could only be talking about one creature. 

“Smaug?”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Elleth = female elf  
> Glaurung = Glaurung was also known as father of dragons so I thought it fit, he should be Bilbo's first father. 
> 
> I may or may not continue this. At the moment I am leaving it as a stand alone.


End file.
